Can You Survive the Oregon Trail?

Wow, this is an old one. For those of you who don’t know, Oregon Trail is a DOS game that came out in 1990. My Social Studies teacher last year gave us a link to it and an entire class hour to just play, because it’s historical and all that. Everything is run using typed commands, like numbers, Enter, Y and N. (Yes and No.)

In Oregon Trail, you get to choose a difficulty setting. You can be the banker, with a ton of cash for supplies, the carpenter, with less, or the farmer, with very little. The less cash you’ve got at the start, the more points you get for surviving. You also get to choose what month to leave in. Too early, and it’s too cold at the start, too late and you freeze near the end. Nasty business, weather. You name the 1-5 people in your party. You have to buy your supplies in the shop before you leave (because obviously, you wouldn’t leave without supplies, would you? That would just be dumb), but thankfully, the guy at the shop gives you some guideline suggestions on what to buy.

As you move along the trail, you can adjust your pace and rations while watching your party health and supplies. You can buy supplies at the forts along the way, trade with other travelers, or hunt for food. If the weather gets extreme or someone gets hurt, you can rest for a few days, but don’t lose track of time. You still have to hit Oregon before it gets too cold.

You get to cross rivers, and, near the end, you have to choose paths. There’s also the looming possibility of someone dying. The caravan leader dies last, since that character is “you” and it’s hard to play when you’re dead. I heard that one of my friends played a game with Batman (leader), Superman, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, and the Flash. Aquaman drowned, and Superman, Wonder Woman and the Flash died from exhaustion. How ironic is that?

So basically, cross the country, and don’t die. Simple, and old school, but fun.

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GeekCraft Expo

This weekend, we drove to a GeekCraft Expo in Madison. It was smaller than I expected, but it made up for it with cool stuff and friendly people. GeekCraft Expo

The cafeteria in the building had a sign plastered over the door that said “Mos Eisley Cantina,” which added to the geek vibe, but, unfortunately, the menu had not been geeked. There were no Star Wars foods, just burgers and brats.

The actual Expo was in a small room, with only a few rows of booths. There were geeky words, geeky images and a general air of geekiness. I saw booths with embroidered references, punny cards, and create-your-own superhero masks. There was a coloring book with assorted organs, handmade dice sets, and interesting soaps. For the full list of venders, go here.

Probably my favorite booth was one with crossover drawings. There was a Princess Leia water-bending, Sokka dressed as Han Solo, Zuko as a Sith, and Kaylee knocking on the door of the TARDIS (which I couldn’t find a link for, sorry!).

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CinemaWins

“Okay, okay, I know this channel is supposed to be all positive and stuff, but there’s no way for him to possibly put a positive spin on that. Oh… I stand corrected.” And that, my friends, is CinemaWins in a nutshell. He posts 60-second spoiler-free reviews of new movies, but I honestly don’t pay much attention to those. They’re good; they’re just not the main attraction.

So what is the main attraction? Most of his videos are titled “Everything Great About” and feature a film. These are exactly what the title implies: clips of the movie with his comments on what make it so great, or sometimes, just the sound of the “Wins” counter in the corner of the screen dinging as it increases. Some of his comments are short, with only one or two words necessary (“Hugging,” “Teamwork,” and “Honesty” are some common ones) and sometimes they’re short paragraphs explaining why the particular scene was so good.

Usually, he saves the really long speeches for the end, when he reviews the movie as a whole, adding points for overall plot. The Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone video had a lightning round at the end, called The Many Faces Of Ron Weasley, and the Rogue One episode had a special “Wins” counter for K2SO. At the end of the video, he displays the Total Wins, plus a special “Award” with something funny. For example, Moana‘s award was “Shark Head!” and the Avenger‘s award was “Shawarma!” This is followed by the scene the award was referencing. I think it’s a cute ending to the video.

What I love about this channel, most, though, is the way that he (“The CinemaWins guy”, as I generally refer to him) can always put a positive spin on things. It’s an admirable trait, and the way he uses it adds humor to the positivity, making his videos a joy to watch.

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Ironic Poetry

My grandmother was going through some poetry books a while back and found two poems that I thought were hilarious. I hope you like them too!

Ladies and Germs,

I come before you to stand behind you

To tell you something I know nothing about.

Admission free; pay at the door;

Pull up a chair; sit on the floor.

Refreshments will be served in empty glasses.

This meeting will come to disorder.

We will discuss something we know nothing about

At the four corners of the round table.

And the second one:

One dark day in the middle of the night,

Two dead boys got up to fight.

Back to back, they faced each other,

Drew their swords and shot each other.

A deaf policeman heard the noise,

Stood up and shot those two dead boys.

If you doubt this story’s true,

Ask the blind man. He saw it, too.

What do you think? Got anymore wacky poems? I’d love to hear them!

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