The Other Critters

It occurred to me that I’ve only been posting photos of the cats, and since I’m giving my other pets to my cousin, they needed at least one post first. So allow me to introduce Clove*, the rabbit (who we got during my fifth grade year), Sage*, the bearded dragon (who we got just after my fifth grade year), and Plum*, the nocturnal and therefore photographically elusive leopard gecko (who if I’m very, very lucky will make an appearance so I can add his picture to this post).

[Update] And, for the first time, I have pictures of Plum*!

*Names have been edited to match their new identities.

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Raw Dialogue

This story was an exercise in revealing character through dialogue. The lack of context is intentional, so I’m not going to add any; instead I’m just going to let you enjoy it as it is, and interpret it as you will.

“Look at the mountains! I wish we could work out here, instead of inside. Man, that overlook never gets old.”
“You’ll see it again soon, Sam.”
“I know. I just can’t believe management is giving us so much time off!”
“Enjoy it while it lasts, eh? Good night, and safe travels!”
“Good night, Jack. I’ll see you in a few weeks!”
“Jack! There you are!”
“Kristin.”
“This view really is brilliant, you know.”
“It’s been there for years.”
“I know. I suppose I’m just delaying the inevitable.”
“Don’t bother.”
“I guess this is goodbye, then?”
“Goodbye.”
“You know that I have to go, right?”
“I know you’ve convinced yourself of that.”
“What would I do if I were to stay here, Jack? Spend the rest of my days doing mindless, joyless work? And the world would be none the better for it. I would be none the better for it.”
“It could be, you could be! You’re one of the best of us and you’re throwing it away!”
“It doesn’t help anything to stay! I don’t even have to think when I’m working, I just act! How is that going to help me improve? I would be wasting so much time and potential to stay here! And … and I can’t do that Jack, you know I can’t. You said it yourself, I’m good at this. Imagine how much I could do out there! How many people I could help! This isn’t just my escape, it’s my moral obligation. I have to go.”
“You keep telling yourself that.”
“Jack…”
“You want to go live a glorious, adventure-filled life, you go and do that! We’ll be here going through the standard channels. We all know the only thing you ever liked about this place was the view anyways.”
“You know full well that’s not the case. The only reason I’ve stuck around this long is because I didn’t want to say goodbye.”
“Got over that, did you?”
“Not really. But I accepted that I had to. For the closure.”
“Good for you.”
“So much for that… well, I have to leave, closure or no. Maybe I’ll see you around sometime, Jack. I hope that by then we’ll be on better terms.”
“Goodbye, Kristin.”
“Goodbye, Jack.”

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Siren With A Cold

This is the last (for now) of my (fictional) prompted anecdotes. To read the other two, click here and here, respectively. They’re not connected; each story stands alone. Still, I hope you’ll give them a read!

Bette was one of those singers that could sing anything — or at least make you think she could, which was how her career got started. We were at a party during our senior year of college, messing around, as college seniors are wont to do. Most of the time, Bette had a good voice — that night, it varied whether she had a voice at all. Still, she joined in on karaoke, just like she did at every party. And it was… well, it was brilliant. The thing about Bette is it’s not her voice that makes her special, it’s her presence. She has this confidence that justs radiates, and you can’t help getting caught up in it.

That’s why, after her performance, one of the designated driver kids walked over and introduced himself as the son of a music agent. He complimented her performance, gave her his number, and offered to introduce her to his dad at some point when she was sober. He said, in effect, that anyone who could put on a drunk karaoke song and dance number, with a cold, at three in the morning, and still somehow enrapture the whole audience absolutely needed to consider a career in music.

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Barrel of Monkeys

This is another of my (fictional) prompted anecdotes. If you’d like to read the first one, click here. The two brothers “I” have in this story are completely made up, for plot convenience. Enjoy!

We had a great time at Niagara Falls last weekend. Riding in that little boat that goes under the Falls turned out to be quite an adventure — I nearly slipped on the wet deck at least three times, and my youngest brother, Peter, actually did! Luckily, our other brother, Tom, has great footing, so he was there to help Pete up.

Learning some of the history of the falls turned out to be an adventure as well. Did you know someone thought it would be a good idea to go over Niagara Falls in a barrel? Even more mindboggling, she somehow survived! A replica of the barrel she rode was in the museum, and, much to our parents’ dismay when they caught up, we three unsupervised children successfully found a way to fit all of us inside it. Getting back out… well, that was another adventure entirely.

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Lost in Translation

For the next couple weeks, I’ll be posting prompted anecdotes (without the prompts — those were written into the stories, so repeating them felt redundant and I like to keep you guessing). Here’s the first! As a word of warning, I really don’t speak French, so if any of the French translations, applications, or grammar are incorrect, that’s because it’s probably from Google Translate or other internet equivalents. Also, this didn’t actually happen, at least not to me. Nor did either of the other anecdotes. Just in case there was question.

Jim is such a funny guy! Our whole trip to Europe was like a big comedy show. When we got to Paris, our first destination, we stopped at one of the produce markets. That, in and of itself, wasn’t exactly surprising — we both love fresh fruit — but what happened that afternoon was. We were chatting with a local who was showing us the Bois de Vincennes when Jim asked her, “Voudriez-vous une pomme?” (“Would you like an apple?”)

She gave him a curious look, replying, “D’accord,” in a questioning tone. (“Alright.”)

Jim grinned, pulling a potato out of his pocket and handing it to her. “Une pomme,” he pronounced proudly. (“An apple.”)

She smirked a bit, shaking her head. “Une pomme de terre,” she corrected. (“A potato.”) “‘Pomme’ est… ‘apple.'” (“‘Pomme’ is… ‘apple.'”)

Jim feigned surprise. “Oh! Tu veux une ‘apple!’ Accorde moi un instant.” (“You want an ‘apple!’ Give me a moment.”) He slipped off his backpack and pretended to rummage around inside for a moment. “Aha! Vous avez ici, madam,” he said with a bow and a flourish, pulling out a pineapple. (“Here you go, my lady.”)

Similarly, whenever we met someone in Germany, he showed them a cheap sausage plushie he had bought online and said, “Isn’t it just the Wurst?”

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“Make A Sci-Fi Setting,” they said.

And… I may have gotten invested. This is unlikely to turn into an actual story, but I thought some of you would appreciate this first part. Enjoy!


“Whoa,” I whispered as I took in the scene in front of me. This was my first time offworld, and I could hear my hired pilot/bodyguard, Ralph, chuckling at my amazed reaction. We were in one of the many floating markets on Neptune, a pressurized dome of layered transparent graphene extending from the shipping docks and enabling the artificial atmosphere. Though the planet’s distance from the sun should have made it nearly impossible to see here, it was bright within the market, the entire floor glowing a rainbow of luminescence, dull enough that it was not painful to the eyes unless stared at for an extended period of time. Newcomers like myself simultaneously flinched whenever we saw methane ice flying towards the market, courtesy of Neptune’s up to 2,000 kilometers per hour winds, while veteran shoppers ignored them as they bounced harmlessly off of the dome and into our dark, blue surroundings, which reminded me of the depths of the ocean.

My attention, however, was quickly drawn away from the exterior and towards the market before me, bustling with activity like a beehive. The difference being, we were all here for pleasure or for profit. Still, the analogy was startlingly accurate, looking out at the geometrically placed, neutrally colored booths of wood and stone and steel, where sentient beings ogled at and haggled over the nonsentient and the abiotic. I took a step forward and had to stop. Despite having been told that it would happen, multiple times, in fact, I was still trying to acclimate to the fact that I was heavier on this planet, thanks to its higher gravitational pull. Ralph, the only person who hadn’t sounded like a robot when he had said it, had also promised that I would get used to it soon.

Still, I took a moment to observe the market from there before I moved. I tried not to stare at the Centauri too much, but it was difficult. They varied so much in size and shape, each with their own species name, but since all of them had come from what we called Proxima B in Alpha Centauri, they were collectively known as the Centauri. They had reached our solar system fifty years prior, but I had never seen them except in photographs until then. For security purposes, aliens weren’t allowed on Earth, so they had set up shop in various other places. It was probably better for them, since they came from the Dark Side, as we’ve since dubbed it, the cold half of the planet that faces permanently away from their sun. They never settled on Venus or Mercury, rarely on Mars or Jupiter. They preferred colder planets, like this one. If the dome weren’t heated, and this place matched the outside temperature, it would be about minus 200 degrees Celsius here, and we’d all have been icicles. As it was, it was probably around 10 degrees (Celsius), and I had a double-layered jacket on for thermal regulation.

The Centauri had set out this way millennia ago in a large group of interconnected vessels largely referred to as “The Lifeboat.” It was sort of like that old story, Noah’s Ark, except that they had the good sense to bring more than two of each species. Each of their sentient life forms had sent what was deemed a survivable, genetically diverse population, which of course brought their fair share of luggage, as well as a likewise diverse group of nonsentient beings, as livestock. It was largely agreed amongst the global community that their sun, a red dwarf, being young as it was, was unstable, and it wouldn’t take much for it to cause devastation. They sent out The Lifeboat so that if something happened, their entire population wouldn’t be wiped out.

Though I tried not to stare, I did spend a large amount of time doing just that. Even as I began to make my way forwards again, my eyes were locked, not on the merchandise, but on the beings. Being the first-timer, standard human tourist that I was, I didn’t know what any of the actual species were, and they confounded me. I saw a multitude of what I took to calling Squids, though of course they weren’t. They were a palish-pink color, with four hooved legs all under the center of their body, eight eyes, each with four eyelids, and at least twenty suctioned tentacles that sort of flowed outwards from their body, like a fountain. Their skins were coated with a mucus-like, sickeningly sweet smelling fluid that seemed to emanate from their suctions, and they had no noses or ears perceivable to the human eye. One tried to sell me some sort of pitch black vine-like plant, as a medicine I think, but his odor made it difficult for me to think and I left the booth quickly.

As I wandered further inwards, I saw everything from one-legged frog men (the leg functioning like an omnidirectional wheel) to glorified flies that must have been seven feet tall, at least, to what might have been Earth monkeys had they not had their noses and their eyes switched, and had they not perfectly understood and spoken English. This last fact I found out when I whispered a question to Ralph concerning their anatomy. “Well how else are we supposed to see what we’re smelling?” One retorted to my question, which I had thought would have been too quiet for them to hear above the noise. Inside the booths, which were run by all sorts of Centauri, and some by humans, were so many objects and trinkets that I lost count: bright and colorful and beautiful fabrics, statues, designs; mind boggling machines and puzzles; a whole slew of plants and animals and bottles up for sale, as pets and foods and medicines.

If the visual input was overwhelming, the audio was only just barely bearable. All around me were voices, high and low and everywhere in between, and whistling, chirping, chattering, clicking… and somewhere, through all the din, I swear I heard music, too. As I moved from booth to booth, not really able to hear the vendors but nodding along with their words while I read the signs and looked over the merchandise, I was also bombarded with new, unknown scents. Some were pleasant. For instance I was rather fond of one plant that smelled like a mixture of cinnamon, licorice, and honey, at least until it tried to eat me. Some were not ever even remotely enticing. Almost all, however, I didn’t recognize, and doubted I’d ever be able to name or even describe.

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