Category: Other

“Everything is leafless (except those guys),” I understood of winter as a child, and I believe I mistook that for “so nothing interesting is happening (except snow days).” And that is patently unfair.

The first snowfall of this winter came with a veritable army of songbirds hanging out in the neighbor’s hedge, darting out to perch on our mulberry and partake of our bird feeder, and I’m fully appreciating how much easier they are to watch when they’re the only burst of color, the only movement, and some of the only sound happening outdoors right now.

The trees I planted in the spring are deciduous and dormant, and for the first time I’m paying attention to the buds – on some plants they’re understated, on others there are hints of red, and our peach tree’s are so visible I’m half-expecting flowers! It’s young yet, so we’ll see, and I have my fingers crossed.

And of course, the leaves: the fallen leaves, no longer for jumping in, and so to a younger Cassandra just there. I brought another neighbor’s leaves over when they were piling them to be cleared, this fall, intent on compost and the ideal substrate for fireflies and gleeful about burying the lawn in fading colors. I hadn’t realized how much I’d appreciate the texture. Frost clings to them when the snow starts to melt. The snow collects in odd divots on top of them, also, and into mid-December we still had the occasional leaf landing on top of that otherwise white winterscape.

Everything is leafless, except those guys – and isn’t it beautiful?

In line with last week’s post about low-energy options, I have been super busy this week, I had a hummus wrap tonight, and I shall be leaving you with a recent photo of Cat Fluxx in lieu of actual words. Everyone gets Fluxx in their stockings, right?

Generally, I have the great privilege to be left to my own devices. I’m on few enough email lists that it’s rare something comes in that I don’t recognize, and apparently few enough unofficial email lists that I only get true spam… maybe once a month. I can’t remember the last time a spam caller left a voicemail, and I don’t think I get junk mail at all.

On this website, I haven’t emptied my marked-as-spam folder in ages, so I can tell you truly that one 20-item page starts in September of 2018 and covers clear into mid-2024.

…so you can imagine my bafflement last week when I logged on to over two hundred comments, almost certainly all spam – and if not, there are maybe two actual people hidden in there, somewhere. They’ll make up a statistically significant amount of the full sentences. What is this? Why is this? And… no, I don’t think I want an answer. Just suffice it to say that I’ve read enough generic compliments to last the rest of the year, and enough Adult Comic advertisements to be glad I never got this kind of spam when I was a minor. Yeesh.

Happy first major snow of the season, all those who celebrate. It’s a much more beautiful kind of inundation.

Maybe not literally, depending on your snow situation and urban planning, but I’ve been spending more time just kind of… hanging out in a physical space. Smelling the candle I never light. Curling up on my giant plush penguin with a cup of tea. Watching the bird feeder while I eat. There was just a hawk on the neighbor’s fence! And it’s nice to stop and look at the wall art, you know? That’s why I put it up.

Take a second (or maybe two or three) to just exist. It helps, I promise.

For as long as I can remember, our household has had a rule: when a doctor’s appointment involves needles, we get milkshakes. It was a successful distraction/treat/hydration technique, and made me probably the only kid who was ever vaguely disappointed when I wasn’t due for shots. By middle school I had a regular shake (coconut chocolate almond) that I had fairly consistently and knew to look forward to.

In more recent years, we’ve found out I’m lactose intolerant.

Naturally, that’s not the end of the world (thank you, modern medicine, even if your solution has the texture of chalk) but I still went looking for other options, and we’ve had other treats accordingly. I was looking for A Perfect Replacement, you know? Something that would live up to the well-tread hype of a childhood favorite. On the other hand… variety! I love trying new things.

Ultimately, a compromise: the new treats are varied and subject to whim; I got a tetanus booster and we got onion rings and chocolate cake. (We did not, I feel the need to note, consume them at the same time.) And when Mom got blood drawn, we went and got ice cream, armed with Lactaid and a healthy dose of nostalgia. There’s a s’mores soft serve with chocolate and marshmallow chunks at Oberweis right now – very tasty, absolutely massive (“if I put the rest in the fridge it’s a milkshake later”), and that faint jumble of ice cream smells made me inordinately happy, even just walking in the door.

There’s a quote in Amphibia – vague spoilers for a single-episode side plot, I guess – “Turns out if you embrace change instead of clinging to the past, you get a say in what the future looks like! Heck, you can even bring some of the past along with you.” And this is absolutely not what they meant by that, but man am I feeling it. And sugar happy! Happy Sunday.

Friends, I am, truth be told, beyond exhausted at the moment, so I’m just going to drop a couple of pretty plant photos this week and wish you all well. Happy Sunday!

This is old, old advice, right? The more you know about where you are and how you got there, the easier it is to find your way elsewhere! I’ve recently had cause to consider that in combination with the strange, fuzzy way that stress muddles your sense of time. ‘Yesterday passed in an hour, but this week’s been a year,’ right? And it got me thinking about ways that I anchor my concept of normal and of movement – now, then, later – against the fact that everything I experience is, has been, or will be “now.”

I take a lot of notes. I’ve mentioned this before, mostly in the context of “nebulously in the future,” as is the case with my recommendation lists and to-write work – both in many ways the predecessors to this post. As part of my ongoing character arc from “I can hold it all in my head!” to “why, actually?” I’ve expanded that concept to include the near future and the past! I’ve taken particular notice to the visibility of deadlines. Coupon expires next week? Add it to the calendar. Crucially, add it to a calendar that I already look at. Make travel plans by this date, submit Hugo nominations by then… On the subject of the Hugos, I’ve also taken to writing down eligible material as I encounter it! No more mad scramble for what all I’ve done in the past year and which of it is relevant.

Of course, there’s also the broader matter of things I’ve gotten done – a sentence that has soured in other contexts, and proven quite useful in this one, especially for the odd little things that don’t seem like Major Accomplishments. I keep a container of them now, on paper, with things like “real food,” “phone call,” and “found something I was looking for”! There’s one that just says “put my desk back!” – I honestly have no idea where the desk was or why, but I can infer it was important. I mean… exclamation point!

Point is, when I ask “what has happened recently?” and my concept of time betrays me, I have answers. When I ask “what do I need to actively be working on?” and “what do I have to look forward to?”, I have answers. And as the rest of the world shifts beneath us, the value of that can’t be discounted.

Behold, floofs! That’s it, that’s the post.